For most students, the name of the college matters less than families think. Journalist Frank Bruni's book Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be argues that many kinds of colleges are strong launching points, and former Stanford dean Julie Lythcott-Haims asks why families keep looking at the same few schools when thousands teach well.
Frank Bruni: Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be
Bruni, a longtime New York Times columnist, published Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania in 2015. Using surveys, statistics and the stories of highly successful people who did not attend the most exclusive schools, he argues that many kinds of colleges can launch a meaningful life.
He is also critical of how much weight families give to the U.S. News rankings. But the book is not anti-college. Its message is that what a student does in college, and who they become there, matters more than the name.
Critics have noted that the book says less about the deeper problems facing higher education, such as cost. Its value is as a reassuring counterweight to the pressure many families feel.
Julie Lythcott-Haims: the same 25 schools
Lythcott-Haims served as dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising at Stanford, and wrote How to Raise an Adult. Having watched admissions pressure up close, she pushes back on families' fixation with a small set of brand-name schools. In one interview she asked, "Why are we always looking at the same 25?"
She also points families to research comparing students admitted to highly selective colleges with equally qualified students who were turned down. Years later, the two groups had similar average incomes.
And she encourages students not to read a rejection as a judgment of their worth. At the most selective colleges, so many strong students apply that admission has an element of chance.
What the research behind them says
The study Lythcott-Haims draws on is by economists Stacy Dale and Alan Krueger. They found that students who applied to highly selective colleges earned about the same later as similar students who attended them, whether or not they were admitted.
An important caveat: selectivity mattered more for students from low-income families, and in later work for Black, Latino and first-generation students. For these students, a selective college's networks and resources can make a real difference. That's worth weighing honestly. More on the research.
The question underneath: fitting in or belonging
When the brand comes first, a student may end up in a place they have to fit into. Researcher Brené Brown describes fitting in as changing yourself to be accepted, and belonging as being accepted as you are. A college chosen for who a student is, rather than for its name, is far more likely to be a place they belong. Read more about fitting in versus belonging.
For parents: easing the brand-name pressure
- Notice which colleges come up at home, and why. Are they there because they suit your student, or because they're familiar?
- Add colleges your student has never heard of, chosen for how they teach and what they offer.
- Talk about rejection early, as something that says little about worth.
- Keep the question simple: where could your student be most fully themselves?
FAQ
Do brand-name colleges lead to better outcomes? For most students, research finds little difference in later earnings between attending a highly selective college and a less selective one, once students' own abilities are taken into account. The exceptions are students from low-income families and some first-generation students, for whom selective colleges matter more.
What is Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be about? Frank Bruni's 2015 book argues that many kinds of colleges are strong launching points, and that families give too much weight to rankings and prestige.
Who is Julie Lythcott-Haims? A former Stanford dean of freshmen and the author of How to Raise an Adult. She encourages families to look beyond a small set of famous schools.
Start with your student
Lens begins with who a student is, through seven short assessments drawn from published research in psychology, and then looks for colleges where they may thrive, many of them colleges a family might never have considered. Start with Lens →
Related
- College rankings vs. belonging: what the experts say
- When your teen is stuck on the college search
- How to use college rankings
Sources
- Publishers Weekly, Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be
- WBUR Here & Now, interview with Frank Bruni
- New York Public Library, podcast with Frank Bruni
- The Learning Leader Show, Julie Lythcott-Haims: why it doesn't matter where you went to college
- Grown & Flown, Julie Lythcott-Haims author page
- Dale and Krueger, NBER working paper